I'm sitting in our dim hotel room letting Shelly sleep a little bit more. She did not sleep well last night and I got a full night sleep so she deserves a little rest. I packed up the room and we'll head over to check on Milo just after her 9:00am pump session. Though I am itching to see him, I suppose in the long run, her healing well and getting rest is more important than us being there bright and early this morning.
In the morning, before we go to visit Milo, I always feel hopeful and a little bit scared. Will he have had a good night with time to heal? Will he have a restful day and continue on his track to getting better? Or will we show up and get an update from the nurses about another "event" that will launch us on yet another roll coaster of worry, scares, and hopefully end in relief. The nurses are supposed to call us if anything happens in the night but the line they draw for calling us is different than mine would be so sometimes we show up and they have news about him.
I am feeling good this morning and ready to spend the day at the hospital with Milo and Shelly. They are taking care of us so well and I am looking forward to seeing what parenting classes they have during our time here (we had a series of classes lined up through Ashland Hospital that they recommend you begin in your third trimester. We managed to attend the very first introduction class the week before Miles arrived, so we'll miss the rest of the sequence).
I woke up with a stuffy nose and am terrified that I will get sick. My body tends to do that when I miss sleep. However, the stakes are pretty high right now as if I get sick, I wouldn't be able to visit my baby for fear of being contagious. I have been washing my hands every five minutes and using lots of hand sanitizer - to keep the baby safe while we are in the NICU and as an added benefit, I have managed not to catch anything yet. By all previous experience I should have been sick days ago.
Writing about my experience helps me process what has happened and also lets me keep some perspective, as in "all of this is just part of Milo's birth story." Thinking about how we will some day tell Milo of his very first plane ride and all about how he got those scars, helps us stay positive and deal with all the scariness. (I am for some reason very happy that his scar will match his momma's c-section scar). It is also really nice to see how much support I have from all of you. I always knew I had great family and friends but this is really the first moment where that support is needed and seeing how many of you have sent your supportive thoughts and offers to help is really a wonderful part of each day. Even though I may not remember to take all of you up on your various offers, I know that if I need something, I can reach out and have someone there.
*I have been reading my blog to Shelly while she is tied down to the pump and she says that she really enjoys hearing my blog and then hearing everyone's supportive responses and comments.
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